When in Doubt, Dip

Still deciding what to serve at or bring to that Super Bowl party? You can’t go wrong with a great dip. Here are some of my favorites, and trust me, they've all been extensively tested. Just click on the title, and away you go. Enjoy!

	Baked Crab and Artichoke Dip Nothing says, “this party rocks” like a creamy, cheesy, baked dip, and when you’re talking about a hot crab and artichoke dip, people have been known to put an extra choice word or two before “rocks.”
	Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip Not only is this baked spinach artichoke dip easy and delicious, but it's also a first in culinary history.
	Baked Buffalo Chicken Dip Arguing about what salad dressing is more appropriate for a baked Buffalo chicken dip recipe is kind of like debating about which shoes to wear with that Hawaiian shirt.
	Clams Casino Dip A big tray of hot clams casino would make a handsome addition to your Super Bowl spread, but that sounds hard, so make this dip instead.

Here are some additional Super Bowl resources
from my friends at Allrecipes. 

Ultimate Guide to Chicken Wings

8 Hot and Cheesy Dips That Should Magically Appear At Every Party

6 Super Bowl Party Meatballs

Bagna Cauda – A Real Bathing Beauty

I’m more of a shower guy, but Bagna Cauda is one “hot bath” I’ll take any time. While this qualifies as a warm dip, it has nothing in common with the typical versions that will grace snack tables across America this Sunday.

It doesn’t contain pounds of melted cheese, or come in a bread bowl, but what it does have going for it, is simple, rustic goodness, and proven crowd appeal. Besides, unlike those other "hot dips," this one actually stays hot.

If there were ever a recipe to tweak to your own tastes, it’s this one. You can adjust the amounts of garlic and anchovy, as well as the proportion of olive oil to butter. You can also control how long you cook the mixture before it’s presented.

I think about five minutes is perfect, but many people cook it much longer. Other than that, the hardest part of this recipe is deciding on what to drunk in this ancient dip. Anything goes, but as I mentioned in the video, some chunks of crusty bread are highly recommended. I hope you give this bagna cauda a try soon. Enjoy!

UPDATE: I'm hearing from my friends in Northern Italy that they use TWICE as much anchovy and garlic as I did. So, be advised. 
 
Ingredients for 1 1/4 cup Bagna Cauda

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

3 tablespoons butter

6-8 cloves garlic, roughly chopped

6-8 anchovy filets

2 tsp red wine vinegar

chili flakes to taste

Here's Jordan!

Because it has been weeks -weeks!- since Jordan Ver Hoeve has appeared on these pages, here's a new photo by Brent Chua, for Vanity Teen, to remind you why I like him so much.  Delish, as they say absolutely nowhere. 

Next Up: "Hot Bath"

2015 Super Bowl Prediction Using Chicken Wing Bones

Once again, it’s time I let you cash in on my magical method for picking the Super Bowl winner, using the ancient art of chicken wing bone reading. I can't tell you how I learned this, or why anyone would take it seriously, but I can tell you the bones are NEVER WRONG.

As you’ll see, the Seattle Seahawks will beat the New England Patriots. It's a guaranteed lock. Bet the farm, the house, and the farmhouse. Many people are saying that the Pats are going to lose because of bad karma, but that can’t be the reason. Have you ever seen a Bill Belichick press conference? If that were true, they'd never win a game.

Anyway, good luck, and I’ll apologize in advance for all those relatives bothering you for loans after you collect your winnings. Good luck, and as always, enjoy!

Next Up: Dem Bones

Reclaiming Your Cast Iron

I get a lot of emails asking for a video showing how we clean and season our cast iron pans. One of these days, when I burn whatever I was supposed to be filming, I may do that demo, but in the meantime, check out this great article by Noel Christmas from Allrecipes. This is pretty much the exact system I use, and I've never had a problem with rust or food sticking. Enjoy!

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Quick Pickled Pepper Onion Relish – Not Just for Mini Philly Cheesesteaks Anymore

As promised, here is the pepper and onion relish you saw me accessorize my bite-sized cheesesteaks a few videos ago. The whole trick here is to find peppadew peppers, which have a very vibrant, sweet-hot-tangy flavor, and quickly and easily turn a pan of sautéed onions and jalapeños into a world-class condiment.

Pretty much any large grocery store that has one of those self-serve salad/olive bars will have these peppers. Just be sure to ladle in some of the flavorful pickling liquid, as that’s what really brings this all together. You'll also sometimes see them in jars on the shelf, as well as online.

You can certainly use any jarred, pickled pepper, but this works best with something that’s on the sweet and spicy side. No matter what pepper you use, you can always adjust with salt, sugar, and/or vinegar. Like I said in the clip, even if you don’t do the mini Philly cheesesteaks, I still hope you give this versatile relish a try soon. Enjoy!

Ingredients for about 1 cup of relish:

2/3 cup finely diced onion

1/2 cup diced jalapeño

1/2 cup diced Peppadew peppers, or other sweet-hot pickled pepper

1/4 to 1/3 cup of the reserved Peppadew liquid, or as needed

Styles That Might Not Catch On

Here we have Valerio Schmidt looking like Eminem, if he were a character on The Flinstones.  Also, trigger warning,  handsome Raphael Blazer is wearing an outfit that has been known to cause seizures in certain people.

“Loaded Baked Potato” Super Bowl Dip – [Insert Deflated Football Joke Here]

Any decent Super Bowl snack table has to have a few substantial dips, and this “loaded baked potato” dip, with its three pounds of bacon, is nothing if not substantial. 

It’s also shaped like a football, which of course has been proven to taste better to people drinking beer than dips in a bowl. Speaking of beer, I think will pair nicely with something cheap, domestic, and in a can. Save the Pliny for the Kobe sliders. 

Needless to say, you can doctor this dip any way you see fit. There are so many ways you can “Tom Brady” this football, and change it to your liking. Some roasted chilies would be great, or maybe even some of that pickled pepper-onion relish I’m about to show you.

If you do want a stiffer mixture, for sculpting a more realistically shaped football, you could use part cream cheese, but I liked the lighter texture, and we still got enough height to qualify as 3-D. So, if you’re looking for a fun and delicious Super Bowl dip recipe, I hope you give this a try. Enjoy!

Ingredients for 48 servings:

3 pounds bacon

3 pounds (6 cups) sour cream

1/2 pound grated extra-sharp cheddar

1 cup chopped green onions for dip, plus more chopped green parts for the “grass.”

pinch of cayenne

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

lots of potato chips

Jury Duty Update

I was asked to leave. Apparently, I'm not "jury box material." Oh well, I think we're all probably better off. Anyway, I'm working on a new Super Bowl dip recipe now, which should be up later tonight. And, yes, of course I'm going to predict the winner of the Big Game using chicken wing bones. Stay tuned!

Mini Philly Cheesesteaks – Winning the Super Bowl Snack Table

Miniaturized sandwiches don’t usually float my boat, or submarine, as they’re almost always not as good as the full-sized versions, but these mini Philly cheesesteaks really captured everything I love about the classic.

Thinly sliced rib eye is traditionally used, and it’s fried and chopped on the grill, before meeting cheese and bread. Since we’re going to “grill” these in the oven, we’ll use a nice, juicy skirt steak instead, which has a big beefy flavor, and great marbling.

It will brown up around the edges, yet stay moist and tender because of the fat and connective tissue. I also really enjoyed the double shot of the sliced provolone and provolone “cheez whiz,” which provided a great creamy, richness. The peppers and onions brought everything together, and long story short, I ate the whole tray.

This was great hot, warm, and cold, and that alone makes it a perfect choice for your Super Bowl snack spread. Also, stay tuned for the quick and easy pickled pepper and onion relish recipe I mentioned in the clip. I hope you give these mini Philly cheesesteaks a try soon. Enjoy!

Enough for about 48 mini Philly cheesesteaks:

12 ounce skirt steak, or flap meat, or rib eye, or NY Strip

salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1/2 cup of pickled pepper and onion relish (stay tuned for video), OR 1/2 cup of sautéed onions and sweet peppers

*once mixed, be sure to taste and salt the final diced steak mixture!

For the “cheez whiz” sauce:

2 generous tablespoons flour

2 generous tablespoons butter

1 cup cold milk

pinch of nutmeg

pinch of cayenne

salt to taste

2 thick slices provolone cheese (about 2 to 3 ounces), torn up

48 slices of baguette

sliced or grated provolone to top the cheesesteaks

Once assembled, bake at 400 for 12 to 15 minutes, or until cheese is browned

Chef John Has Jury Duty!

The Jury by John Morgan

That’s right, instead of entertaining you with my free (and worth every penny) videos, I’ll be trying to convince a court in San Francisco that I’m the last person they want deciding anything.

By the way, why do busy cyber chefs have to serve, when there are so many people who’d jump at the chance? Shouldn’t we honor our wise seniors by letting them populate America’s jury boxes? They’re retired, and they sure love those judge shows.

Plus, I heard on the news we have lots of them, and were getting more all the time. Anyway, it’s something to consider. Stay tuned for updates as they become available.

This Is Your Lucky Day

Lucky Blue Smith's path to world dominance continues apace with his current trip to Europe to walk in his very first runway shows (Dunhill, Tom Ford, Salvatore Ferragamo) and appearing on the cover of Brit fashion magazine Rollacoaster, photographed by Chad + Paul.   

And for those who can't get enough, a bonus!

 

Shirtlifting Sunday

Charlie Hebdo, My Opinion

I believe in free speech.  However, I also believe one should show a little sensitivity to the feelings of others.

If I'm having a conversation with someone and I say something against their religion which offends them,  I would apologize for offending them and shut up.  I wouldn't say "Tough shit.  I'm only exercising my freedom of speech, and by the Constitution I can say whatever I want."

I have been in situations with people when they offended my Christian beliefs.  I became irate myself, but I didn't resort to physical violence.  I believe all physical violence is awful.

 I heard the new editor of Charlie Hebdo interviewed on TV, because the former editor was murdered.  The new editor never mentioned his predecessor, and I disagreed with the new editor in about everything he said:  religion was a personal thing and should not be politicized.  I agree, but it seems to me that making mocking cartoons is politicizing it.  "Charlie" is a political magazine, not a spiritual one, so attacking spiritual subjects seems to me to be politicizing it.  "Charlie" is doing their country harm all in the name of freedom of speech.  There is such a thing as carrying a good thing too far.  The new editor was a person that believed standing up for one's ideas or ideals was more important than life and death.  I used to think that way myself, but I think I'm becoming more conservative in my sunset years.  I no longer think that ideas are more important than people.  Ideas change.  Thinking that ideals are more important than people, is what makes wars.

Freedom of speech seems to be more curtailed in the U.S. than it is in France.  I believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe in moderation.  I don't believe in free speech when it shows a total lack of concern for other groups of people.

Not Everyone Can Pull Off This Look

But this kid sure can.

Hair And Cheekbones

 

This is an Italian model named Andrew Bocelli.  And that 's all I have to say about that.

 

 

Five Guys Who I Think Would Make Better Calvin Klein Underwear Models Than The Biebs

By now I'm sure you've all heard that Justin Bieber is the new face and (stuffed) crotch of Calvin Klein underwear, but (nothing personal, Biebs) there are other people I'd rather see flauting their assets than him, including, but not limited to these five fine fitties.  In no particular order:

 Austin Mahone is often compared to Bieber because of their similar life stories and because both used YouTube accounts and sheer willpower to transform themselves into major bubblegum heartthrobs. I prefer Mahone's looks, voice, and personality, but he has never approached Bieber's level of commerical success.

Leo Howard is that rarity,  a Disney kid who has, so far at least, not gone off the deep end. With the face of an angel and a body for sin, he seems like the perfect guy to hang some underwear on.  But we might have to wait a year or so before putting his mostly naked form on three-story-tall billboards. Leo is still only 17.

Another beauty from the world of Teen Pop, is 20-year-old James McVey of The Vamps. He has a bangin' bod that he's not afraid to show off, and he also has that Bruce Weber vibe that the Calvin Klein folks love so much.

 Paddy Mitchell, because he is perfect, and naked pictures of him should be everywhere.

So, yeah, at this point Tom Daley is a bit overexposed (hee hee) but you just know that he's be totally up for it, and he's so cute and spesh, and that body is a work of art.

Random Shirtless Guy

The Magic Christian

The only things I've ever seen 19-year-old Cody Christian act in were a few episodes of Supah Ninjas, and frankly Ryan Potter was getting all my attention. Cody may or may not be a good actor- Hell if I know-  but there's no question that he's easy on the eyes.