Five Guys Who I Think Would Make Better Calvin Klein Underwear Models Than The Biebs

By now I'm sure you've all heard that Justin Bieber is the new face and (stuffed) crotch of Calvin Klein underwear, but (nothing personal, Biebs) there are other people I'd rather see flauting their assets than him, including, but not limited to these five fine fitties.  In no particular order:

 Austin Mahone is often compared to Bieber because of their similar life stories and because both used YouTube accounts and sheer willpower to transform themselves into major bubblegum heartthrobs. I prefer Mahone's looks, voice, and personality, but he has never approached Bieber's level of commerical success.

Leo Howard is that rarity,  a Disney kid who has, so far at least, not gone off the deep end. With the face of an angel and a body for sin, he seems like the perfect guy to hang some underwear on.  But we might have to wait a year or so before putting his mostly naked form on three-story-tall billboards. Leo is still only 17.

Another beauty from the world of Teen Pop, is 20-year-old James McVey of The Vamps. He has a bangin' bod that he's not afraid to show off, and he also has that Bruce Weber vibe that the Calvin Klein folks love so much.

 Paddy Mitchell, because he is perfect, and naked pictures of him should be everywhere.

So, yeah, at this point Tom Daley is a bit overexposed (hee hee) but you just know that he's be totally up for it, and he's so cute and spesh, and that body is a work of art.

Shirtlifter: Celebrity Edition

 

Any excuse to show a picture of Austin Mahone.

The Politics of Legal

If you want to see exactly why Famous Males Forums, once my go-to site for pictures and information about celebrity males,  with an emphasis on U.K. celebrities, has become almost unbearable to read, you need look no further than a recent post made on the occasion of Austin Mahone's 18th birthday.  The usual inane bitchery that always appears there (not almost always, always) is par for the course, but of particular interest is a long argument about the appropriateness of showing shirtless pictures of a newly adult man, especially on his birthday.

Several years ago, due to a bizarre misreading of U.K. anti-pornography law, Famous Male Forums instituted a rule that any and all pictures of any person under the age of 18 must never appear there, the logic being that any photo of a person under 18, even if it is a cap from a mainstream movie, TV show, or magazine, even in a country where the age of consent is 16, and even on a non-pornographic site,  could be construed as sexual in nature and lead to... well, God knows what.  It takes a special kind of paranoia, but it's a privately owned site, and if its owner is that afraid of the draconian state, so be it.  But even before the rule went into place,  and teenagers under the age of 18 appeared there regularly, there was always someone who was ready to act as the thought police, and to condemn anybody who recognized and admired the beauty of a 17-year-old, suggesting that they were pedophiles, or at the very least, creepy.  This, of course, lead to a lot of debate and name-calling,  mostly  name-calling.  If the powers that be at FMForums thought that the rule change would put an end to the controversy, they were woefully mistaken. The same naysayers were just as happy to condemn anyone who enjoys adult men who "look too young."  I kid you not.  This leads to people being called out as pedophiles for the crime of posting pictures of people as old as 25.  It also leads to bizarre examinations of each and every picture of anyone under 20 to determine exactly how old they were when the picture was taken.  Imagine how corrupting it would be to see a picture of Harry Styles when he was on The X Factor and not yet 18.  The world might end.

At any rate, something good came out of the whole kerfuffle, and that was a nice collection of shirtless photos of Austin Mahone, a lovey specimen no matter how old he is.

No Homo Mahone

Austin Mahone, the 17-year-old YouTube sensation, turned professional  purveyor of silly love songs (and what's wrong with that, I'd like to know) has made it adamantly clear that he is completely, 100% heterosexual, and also that "people ask too many questions." Probably not the best response possible to the gay question, but I know how he feels.  I, personally  would feel very insulted if someone were to suggest that I was straight.

Mr. Mahone

In case you missed him the last time he appeared on the pages of this blog, this is singer / internet sensation Austin Mahone,  who is now signed to a lucrative recording contract with a major label.  I don't think you will see him picking up any Grammy Awards anytime soon, but he sure is a cutie.