Styles That Might Not Catch On

I'm still trying to figure this out.  Is it underwear? Pajamas?  It can't be something to be worn out in public.  So what's the deal? I've decided that it must be a special garment for boys with sensitive nipples.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

Here we have Valerio Schmidt looking like Eminem, if he were a character on The Flinstones.  Also, trigger warning,  handsome Raphael Blazer is wearing an outfit that has been known to cause seizures in certain people.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

I have no problem with this shirt in theory, but who's going to wear it?  And where?

Styles That Might Not Catch On

I'm still trying to unpack this look.  It's just one "why?" after another.  But the model is from Prague, so perhaps this is normal attire in the Czech Republic?

Syles That Might Not Catch On

New York fashion week is always good for some weird fashion, and this year didn't disappoint, with one of the more acclaimed runway shows from Hood By Air and designer Shayne Oliver. One of the most commented-upon elements in the show was the use of large clear Lucite collars on many of the male models.  More than one person has made the claim that these collars are inspired by Elizabethan couture, but you'd have to be blind to miss the fact that several of them are straight-up bondage collars, reminiscent of the canques that were in wide use in Asia up until the twentieth century. Now, I like a little light bondage as much as the next guy, but we all know perfectly well that no one is ever going to wear these collars, not even the less bondage-y ones, and the same goes for the shirts with the fronts cut out and the hooks on them that call to mind a straight jacket.  

Styles That Might Not Catch On

I don't even know what's going on here, but no.  Just no.

Um, what?

 

Perhaps you can explain this image.  I can't .  Obviously, the wedding dress is meant to be the star here, but we all know that a half-naked boy will always trump everything.  When I see a picture like this, I ask myself what story is being told.  What is the relationship between these two?  He is much too young to be her groom. There is the obvious symbolism of the apple; just as Eve tempted Adam she tempts him-  or perhaps teases him- with forbidden fruit.  Why is he dressed so, wrapped up like a pretty little package in her wedding veil? Why does she look amused, while he looks aggrieved?  So many questions.  What's your theory?

Styles That Might Not Catch On

What is that on his head? Some kind of hat?  Stretch pants with an elastic waist?  Either way, it seems a bit incongruous on a boy from New Jersey.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

Say what you will about this busily patterned shirt, I can imagine it on a store rack, minus the horsehair epaulette, of course. But tin-foil shorts are a no-no.  Remember, you are a handsome young man.  You are not a baked potato.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

I'm posting this for two reasons:  #1) As a hot as this is, no aspect of it will ever be a part of anyone's wardrobe,  and #2) To let you know that tomorrow I plan to post  a whole lot of Simone Nobili,  at long last.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

What we have here is a white linen suit,  with blue stripes spray painted on it.  OK,  I wouldn't wear it, but I've seen worse. A lot worse. However, unless you are stranded in the middle of a desert, and are trying to fend off sun stroke, tying your suit coat around your head like an  Easter bonnet is just wrong on every level and ought to be avoided.

Styles That Might Not Catch On

Could this be Bozo The Clown's super hot grandson?  Everything about this look suggests the circus, which is OK by me, but don't get upset if people give you funny looks on the subway. Here's a word to the wise:  Faux fur trousers are never going to be a thing, but if you must wear them, I suggest against painting your eyebrows to match.

Styles That Might Not Catch On: SVU

I've had my eye on today's unfortunate fashion victim, model Matt Ardell, for a while now, so when I picked up the latest issue of 10 Men I was happy to see him starring in one of their editorials. As it happens, he is attired in some of the best examples of "not gonna happen" that I've come across lately. Kilts, skirts, crinoline petticoats, lacy collars and stockings, and the return of the Michael Jackson glove; all very lovely, but, aside from a few scene queens, nobody is going to dress like that. Or, let me put it another way: nobody who can afford those clothes is going to want to dress like that.  Sorry. I like the boots.

By that way, in case you were wondering what skinny Matt looks like in more conventional (and fewer) clothes, here he is..