The Politics of Legal

If you want to see exactly why Famous Males Forums, once my go-to site for pictures and information about celebrity males,  with an emphasis on U.K. celebrities, has become almost unbearable to read, you need look no further than a recent post made on the occasion of Austin Mahone's 18th birthday.  The usual inane bitchery that always appears there (not almost always, always) is par for the course, but of particular interest is a long argument about the appropriateness of showing shirtless pictures of a newly adult man, especially on his birthday.

Several years ago, due to a bizarre misreading of U.K. anti-pornography law, Famous Male Forums instituted a rule that any and all pictures of any person under the age of 18 must never appear there, the logic being that any photo of a person under 18, even if it is a cap from a mainstream movie, TV show, or magazine, even in a country where the age of consent is 16, and even on a non-pornographic site,  could be construed as sexual in nature and lead to... well, God knows what.  It takes a special kind of paranoia, but it's a privately owned site, and if its owner is that afraid of the draconian state, so be it.  But even before the rule went into place,  and teenagers under the age of 18 appeared there regularly, there was always someone who was ready to act as the thought police, and to condemn anybody who recognized and admired the beauty of a 17-year-old, suggesting that they were pedophiles, or at the very least, creepy.  This, of course, lead to a lot of debate and name-calling,  mostly  name-calling.  If the powers that be at FMForums thought that the rule change would put an end to the controversy, they were woefully mistaken. The same naysayers were just as happy to condemn anyone who enjoys adult men who "look too young."  I kid you not.  This leads to people being called out as pedophiles for the crime of posting pictures of people as old as 25.  It also leads to bizarre examinations of each and every picture of anyone under 20 to determine exactly how old they were when the picture was taken.  Imagine how corrupting it would be to see a picture of Harry Styles when he was on The X Factor and not yet 18.  The world might end.

At any rate, something good came out of the whole kerfuffle, and that was a nice collection of shirtless photos of Austin Mahone, a lovey specimen no matter how old he is.

Oh Logan!

Logan Lerman,  currently appearing in Noah, steams up the place in Interview Magazine. Look how macho and heterosexual he is! And he smokes, too!  I still like him anyway.

Regarding The Vamps

This post started out as a skeptical piece about the hype for latest British boy band, The Vamps. I hadn't paid much attention to them, nor had I heard their music, but they kept popping up here and there and I decided to check them out.  My first thought was that The Vamps (Bradley Will Simpson, James McVey, Connor Ball, and Tristan Evans- the oldest of them, James, just celebrated his twentieth birthday) are a cynical attempt to replicate the success of One Direction.  A fair enough assumption, actually, and one that I still don't entirely discount, but along the way, I think I might have fallen, just a bit, in love. 

Here's what The Vamps have in common with One Direction:  They are a group of cute, young British boys, who make catchy, bouncy pop songs, often about meeting girls at parties. They make videos were they romp around like puppies, and generally behave like cheeky chappies. Although their official biography tries to make The Vamps seem more "authentic" than One Direction (James, already under management,  decided to get a band together, and found Bradley on YouTube, etc., etc,  the rest is history) it seems obvious that both bands were equally assembled by outside hands, 1D by a TV show, The Vamps by Prestige Management, a company that already had some success with boy bands. 

Here's how The Vamps and One Direction differ: The Vamps play instruments. It is suggested that they write all of their own material (although one would be excused if, looking at their YouTube channel, one were to assume they are a cover band.) In fact, The Vamps seem to have more in common with the previous generation of British boy bands, such as Busted and McFly. And here's a big difference: while 1D is very careful to share the spotlight between all five members, The Vamps are all about Bradley Will Simpson, the 18-year-old with Harry Styles' hair who sings the lead on all of their songs, and is front and center at all times. Brad is, frankly, adorable,  and also possesses a great pop voice. I must admit that I get a certain dirty thrill when a cherub-faced teenager kicks off a pop song by singing, "I talk shit when I've been drinking."

It may not bode well for the longevity of the band that Bradley would probably succeed without The Vamps, but The Vamps could not succeed without Bradley.  The truth is, Bradley is the Gladys Knight,  the rest of the boys, mere Pips.

 Now, let us take a moment to let the perfection of Bradley Simpson sink in.

By the way, this happened.  The Vamps cover Hanson.  I may die.