The Past Is A Foreign Country, Part One

In 1969, just a few years before I was interested in such things, the best-selling teen entertainment magazine in America was 16, now defunct. Under the leadership of Gloria Stavers, a woman so hip she had an affair with Jim Morrison, of The Doors, 16 not only had its finger on the pulse of the American teen girl,  it often set the agenda. It has been reported that at one time 16 had five million readers a month. Teen Magazines are still with us, glossier then they were then,  but still following the template that Stavers set in the 1960s.  

Sometime around 1969 (this is my well-educated guess)  16 offered to its readers, by mail order only, a cheaply printed pamphlet called The Adonis Gallery Pin-up Book.  In the regular magazine, The Adonis Gallery was where 16 featured shirtless photos of their fave boys.  I use the word "boys" loosely.  Looking at The Adonis Gallery Pin-up Book today brings a stark reminder that times have changed. 

Some of the gallery's subjects would not appear out of place in today's teen magazines.  The boys in The Cowsills, for instance, do not look much different from The Jonas Brothers (to give a slightly dated example)  and despite his groovy bell-bottom trousers, Jon Provost, post Lassie, could easily be a star on some ABC Family sitcom. 

Davy Jones of The Monkees (at age 24) and Bobby Sherman (26) both look like older versions of Austin Mahone. 

 

More after the break.

I totally get the appeal of 25-year-old Jan-Michael Vincent, who was still being cast as teenagers at that time, but what do you make of the likes of Michael Parks, Michael Cole, or Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders?  It almost seems impossible in today's environment that such mature-looking, hairy-chested men would be sold as objects of desire to14-year-old girls .

Now consider Mr. David Selby, who was a star of the daytime horror soap opera Dark Shadows.  He played Quentin Collins, a werewolf.  Here he is, a hairy shirtless man, pushing 30, with some of the worst facial hair I have ever seen on any man ever.  The girls (and some boys) swooned.

 

Then, Mr. Selby's co-star, Jonathan Frid, jumps out at you.  Not to be too judgmental, but it is impossible to imagine these pictures of a shirtless, 45-year-old man, especially one who looks like Frid, in the BOPs and Tiger Beats of today.  But, it does show that playing a vampire is always the way to a girl's heart.

Polish Prince

I predict big things for Piotr Kolan, from Leszno, Poland, whose modeling career got off to a flying start just a few months ago.  I can't say for sure, but he may be perfect.

Tom Daley, Coming Out, Sad Queens, And Bullshit On The Internet

It sometimes seems as if Tom Daley has been with us forever;  he's been put forward by the media as an object of lust from a very early age,  and it may be easy to forget that he is only 19 years old.  Yesterday he released a video in which he told the world that he was in a romantic relationship with another guy.  Didn't say that he was gay,  said he still "fancies" girls, but that right now he is dating a guy.  I don't really need to tell you this, though, because this news has already lit up the Internet, and everybody seems to have an opinion.  My opinion:  Good for you, young Tom.  I hope you are happy, and I'm proud of you for making the difficult decision to come out.  

Here's what gets my goat,  and it's got nothing to do with Tom Daley's actions.  I expect pig-ignorant, homophobic heterosexuals and closet cases to come out vocally against Tom's sexuality and his decision to make it public.  It has already begun.  What I don't expect is for members of the queer community to be equally hateful in their reactions. God knows, I should be used to it by now, as it happens every time a high profile person comes out. This is something that I first noticed when Ricky Martin came out in 2010.  

You see, there is a subset of the queer community that I call "Sad Queens."  I don't know whether or not there are a lot of Sad Queens, or if there's only a small amount of them who are extremely vocal. Either way, whenever a celebrity comes out, they are at every forum, message board, and comments section to spread their bile. 

The Sad Queen's first comment is always the same. "I'm not one bit surprised.  I knew it all along."  I believe in Gaydar, but the Sad Queen has flawless, infallible Gaydar. They don't just have a feeling, they know.

Next, they carefully parse the subjects words,  as if to somehow poke a hole in their story.  "He never actually says he's gay. He says he still likes girls.  This is an obvious lie.  He's a liar!  He's just saying this because it is more acceptable to be bi than it is to be gay (?) and he doesn't want to hurt his career."

Often the Sad Queen will parrot the homophobe's lie that it is completely unnecessary to come out in this enlightened age.  "Why should it matter? Straight boys never come out."

Finally we will get the cynical list of the "real" reasons why our subject decided to come out.  "He had to or the media would have outed him."  "He's doing it help his career."  Or this actual quote from Famous Male Forums: "He's saying it because he's been told to. This is the least genuine video ever."  He's been told to.  That's all we need to know.

I grow tired of the Sad Queens.  Tom Daley's declaration of his happiness and his love for another man should be a cause to rejoice,  but like everything else in the Sad Queens' miserable, little world,  it is merely becomes an excuse to air their cynicism,  and  to jack up their own egos.  Don't be a Sad Queen.  Choose life.

And congratulations to Tom Daley.  I'm very happy for him, and proud of him for choosing to live an open, honest life. 

New Month, New Sunday Roundup

To start off the month, here's another collection of lovely young men I found on the internet. All the usual rules apply.  I hope you enjoy.

More after the jump.